In the spirit of not giving

Now that we “kids” are long grown, and the next generation is here, my family doesn’t do Christmas presents anymore. 

And I feel like a horrible Scrooge-ette for loving it.

Now, I do enjoy some things about Christmas presents.  Like Christmas shopping.  

Well, on second thought, I love it in theory.  In theory, I’m on Fifth or Michigan Avenue in a kick-ass swing coat and matching accessories with tons of fashionable stores’ bags (which I think I covet more than the things inside them sometimes; ever seen some of those bags?). Carolers are singing, spicy scents are in the air, snow is falling gently, boughs and holly are decking ye olde halls, and I can afford to get everybody the perfect thing.

In reality, my cute sweater is too hot for the weather, people are cursing at each other for parking lot infractions, everything in the stores looks the same, things are just a little too bright and shiny, my feet hurt and I’m thirsty and I have the dizzy, discombobulated feeling I get in malls.  Not to mention I’m broke.

I do love giving in general.  I am a giver by nature (a therapist might say to a fault) and am happy to give my time and energy to others.  I bake treats for my students and am a firm believer in the hostess gift.  I frequently say, “Let me buy you a drink/dinner/dessert to celebrate X,” X being a birthday, promotion, exam, Tuesday, etc.  I like to give handmade gifts, I donate regularly to a few charities, and one of my favorite things to think about is what I’d get everyone if I won the lottery someday.

But, I have got to say, it is incredibly liberating to just say “my family, we don’t do gifts.”

Part of the liberation is the problem of cost.  And I don’t mean that I mind spending on those I love; I don’t.  What I mean is that the cost of things my family actually needs is too great—that’s why they don’t have them in the first place!  What they need is their line of credit paid off for a few months. They need a new roof.  Mom could use a new car.

And the same for me.  When asked for Christmas, “what do you need?” my answer of “nothing” is true and not true.  True in that I have food, shelter, safety, love, etc. and all my needs are fulfilled. Not true in that I could do without this car payment, a new TV would be pretty nice (mostly so that people will stop laughing at how old and huge mine is), and I’d love a vacation.

But there is one kind of gift I don’t want to receive, ever, and that’s the gift that puts someone else in debt.

This year, my niece and nephew are getting a lil’ something, since what’s more fun than watching kids open presents on Christmas? I’m also exchanging with a few friends who I like to exchange with.

Otherwise, I’m getting everyone the best gift of all: the gift of not having to get me a gift.

You're welcome.